Saturday, January 4, 2014

Journal Entry 1/3

Tonight is one of those night where I'm doing a lot of reflecting. These are the nights that I'll tend to flip flop my emotions so much. I try to stay positive and I try to be brave while I'm reflecting on my word, my life, my choices, my health, and my happiness and where I'm at with these things. I'll tell you I'm not happy with it... I know I want to get there and hopefully I will. 

So in reflecting on my word brave- I feel empowering doing it. It is very inspiring to look at the word and see confident, strong, and heroic. When I read quotes like - refuse to be average; let your heart soar as it will by aw tozer, talking about how I want to be fearless, and I want to be the leading lady in my own story.. Is all amazing, but then I look at things like my health. Before I started writing what was I doing? I was drinking a soda and snacking on some twizzlers. Wtf right?? How are the decisions I just made leading me in the right direction? They're not!! So why do I do it? I don't know. Was I stressed? Was I unhappy?? Was I just bored??? These questions I need to get to the bottom of so I can stop it from happening. It seems to be a habit more than a choice sometimes. Like I literally just do it! Well after I finished reflecting and did some cleaning which is seriously one of the best stress relievers for me... I looked to grab a snack but this time I  thought about it and stopped. I had read tonight about others saying how they can't keep snacking, the others doing 5ks and Zumba, and then looking at the photos of ones who just completely let themselves go. It's really starting to open my eyes. Hopefully as I continue this journey I'll continue to be successful, fearless, and confident. 

(I also still don't have my selfie taken again more on the stressfulness of recent life choices which has lead me to be super unhappy with how my face is breaking out. I'm 27 I shouldnt still have that issue but never the less I do. Heh. Tomorrow I will get up and face the day stronger!)

I will get that selfie!!! That's my goal for tomorrow. Like I said I'm living with bold intentions and strong commitments. 

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